Over the years, some scientists have attempted to change everyone’s pronunciation to something more akin to “urine us” than “your anus,” but their attempts have not yielded much success. As a result, Uranus is the butt of the Solar System‘s joke. Imagine NASA has discovered that asteroids collide with Uranus more frequently than theoretical models predicted. What will be the headline the next day: “NASA discovers Uranus gets more pounding than expected!”
Uranus, like every other major planet in our solar system, is named after an ancient Greek or Roman god. However, while Uranus follows suit, it also stands apart in certain ways since it’s the only planet that uses a Greek name for a deity, whereas all the others (excluding Earth) use Roman versions. Uranus is named after an ancient Greek sky god whose name is also spelled Ouranos, which is even less fun.
Best Uranus Jokes
What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?
Rename Uranus to Ouranus.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where are all the other genders from?
They were pulled out Uranus.
My anus doesn’t have a last name, does yours?
Why are Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson so excited for space?
They’ve fucked almost everyone on our planet and want one last shot at Uranus.
One friend was trying to tell another that Uranus is pronounced ‘Your Anus.’
The guy scoffed at him and said, “M’ars.”
Did you know that scientists have named the core of Uranus?
It’s called urectum.
What’s the difference between NASA and the NSA?
One seeks to probe Uranus and the other seeks to probe your anus.
Why do people always say, “I love you to the moon and back”?
That’s not really that far. The moon is only 238,900 miles away. Uranus, on the other hand, is 1.7 billion miles away.
If a man is willing to give you the Moon and the Stars, then what’s your responsibility?
You should be willing to sacrifice Uranus.
Did you hear about NASA’s decision to launch Uranus into a black hole?
Don’t think it’s a good idea to be rubbing Uranus and Heranus together.
Why did SpaceX go to Mars?
Because SpaceY already went to Uranus.
During a routine medical check-up, Ted asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?”
The doctor replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
Ted said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.”
The doctor replied, “Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.”
How is Toilet paper similar to Starship Enterprise?
It circles Uranus looking for Klingons.
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If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,
Uranus would be right about where you’d expect it to be.
What did the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
“I can see Uranus from here.”
What do a playboy and NASA have in common?
They both want to colonize Uranus.
What did one gay astronaut say to the other gay astronaut?
“Hmmm… Uranus or mine?”
Why do some wish their name was Voyager 2?
So they could have the first encounter with Uranus.
Did you hear about the doctor who informed his patient that they’ve found life on other planets?
He says there are worms living in Uranus.
Why did the pervert take a telescope into the bathroom?
Because he wanted to see Uranus.
Did you know that Uranus can fit 63 Earths?
Relax and we could probably squeeze in 64.
Why didn’t they let the sex molester become an Astronaut?
They didn’t want him getting near Uranus.
Boyfriend asked his girlfriend how many planets are in our solar system.
The girlfriend said, “Eight.”
The boyfriend replied, “Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight.”
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What is a Flat Earther pickup line?
The Earth may be flat but Uranus is round.
What do the Vatican and Area 51 have in common?
They are both probing Uranus.
Where’s the best place to hide drugs in space?
Why did the astronomer put his dick in the telescope?
To line it up with Uranus.
A conversation between grade 3 kids.
First kid: Your face is kinda similar to a planet…
Second kid: Oh yeah. Which one?
First kid: Uranus.
What’s the difference between being a prostitute or an Astrologer?
If you are a prostitute only a portion of your clients is interested in the position of Uranus.
Why should you hate people who make Uranus jokes?
They are heinous.
What do you call someone who flies a spaceship to Uranus?
Why is it so important that we keep Earth clean?
Because it’s not Uranus.
What do a proctologist and an astronomer have in common?
When they look at Uranus, it is always on its side.
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How do you know if you’ve been visited by aliens from Uranus?
What does space smell like?
Did you hear that the scientific community has finally agreed to rename the planet Uranus?
They are re-naming it to Urmama.
What has gas, liquid, and solids on it at the same time?
Uranus, Earth, and Pluto decide to throw a party.
Earth: so how are we going to do this?
Pluto: Don’t ask me. I don’t know how to Plan-et.
What is the difference between Uranus and Earth?
Uranus has one asshole, Earth has many.
How do you know that Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system?
Uranus is between them.
Why is Neptune made up of gas?
Because it is next to Uranus.
Did you know that Uranus is the coldest place in the solar system?
So it’s safe to say the sun doesn’t shine there.
Why is Uranus classified as a planet?
After all, it is a Black Hole
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Why was Uranus always mad?
Because it was the butt of everyone’s jokes
How do you pick a motivated astronaut dog?
It‘s the one that’s always sniffing Uranus.
Why was there only ever one mission to Uranus?
Because it was full of shit!
How long does it take a satellite to reach Uranus?
Bend over and I’ll show you.
What’s worse than a satellite around Saturn?
A probe in Uranus.
What’s worse than lobsters on Mars?
Crabs on Uranus.
Why don’t we inhabit Uranus?
That place is a Gas Hole.
Which is a planet and a black hole at the same time?
Why was Mars afraid of Jupiter?
Because Jupiter Saturn Uranus.
When can you see Uranus?
Only on a “full-moon.”
What’s the farthest planet humans can see with their Naked eye?
Why should you never let an astronaut get in bed with you?
Because they want to explore Uranus.
What are Uranus’ moons?
How do you invade Uranus?
Did you hear they’ve modified the Mars rover for a trip to Uranus?
Now it’s called Bicuriosity.
What do you call Uranus when it’s no longer in space?
Have a dirtier joke on Uranus? Post your funny puns in the comment section below.