No matter how many times you’ve filled your cat’s bowl today, they’re still going to follow you around and meow incessantly until you put a little dash more. That greedy feline seems to consume more and more each day, exceeding his daily recommended intake by 200%. How could this kitten, who weighs 12 pounds, possibly need so much food? The answer is simple. Cats create mass and consume worlds. Their gravitational force requires heaps of energy that cats need to consume daily in order to replenish their planetary personality. The chonky fur-ball before you is more than just your feline friend, but a cat-astrophic black hole that absorbs every kibble, slice, and plop of food that goes into his bowl. Like a shark’s feeding frenzy, once a fat cat has had a taste of the meat, they crave more. They see your meatball spaghetti and can’t resist reaching into the bowl for a little taste of that sauce. Your cat longs for the deliciousness of tuna, salmon, pheasant, and chicken. He dreams of hunting in the wild and devouring fresh prey. Your cat, after all, is a predatory beast.
So now that cat’s are captive, domestic animals, the only way that they can express their feral, savage nature is to tangle themselves in your ankles (most likely at the top of the stairs), meowing relentlessly until you give them what they want. That’s a cat’s new hunt. They hunt for their hooman’s consent to fill their dish to the brim with delicious goodness. Gobbling Garfields everywhere are begging for just one more scoop of kibs before bed. As their hooman, it’s our job to decide exactly how rotund we want our feisty feline.
For a delicious dose of fat cat memes, keep scrolling! Looking for some extra purrfection first thing in the morning? Sign up for our daily cat newsletter!
